I am blogging in my office!!! =)

Alot has been on my mind recently..

Work stuffs.. Family stuffs.. bf stuffs.. even friends..


I guess i am still rather bothered by the things going on betw me and pu.. No doubt we met up after the incident, but i knew instantly, things are different.. No more hugs from him.. No more concern from him..

I actually regretted meeting him.. bcos now i know, how much i hurt him and how much is left for our friendship..

Maybe i shouldnt even mentioned abt wat he said to me to anyone.. Mayb i should just keep everything to myself.. Mayb i am too selfish.. At that point, I just felt suffocated that i need to tell those who are close to me.. oh well..

We talked over at msn last week.. he's friendly and all.. but maybe too friendly that it seems alittle weird.. I am not being paranoid.. I just know him too well thats all..


Aside for that.
Last week... I only worked for 1 and a half days!! haha.. Monday.. and then tuesday (supposed to work the whole day) but.. I was coughing badly.. my boss told me to go off..

I did not want to take advantage of the fact that my boss is so kind, so i took a half day leave..

Dinner was out with nigel cs and hc.. DAMN long nv see hc!! haha.. after dinner was chilling at haagen daz.. then me and hc went to look for monster since its near his place.. the guys talked while i ate my ribena sweets.. lol..

All the way till 2 am??!! or 3? i forgot.. after which, monster and me took a cab back to my place.. bcos its the start of our long weekend!

.Wednesday

Slept till quite late.. initial plan was to go swimming.. but last minute he had to go for an interview, so it was quite rush.

We went to buy our ingredients and started cooking!

Cooking was always fun.. but cleaning is always a pain.. so we did all we can to prevent my kitchen from getting oily.. haha..

At night, i stayed at home.. spending time with my mom.. while waiting for him to be back..

.Thursday

We went back to SP!! brought QiaoYu there as she is not working as well..

But i was disappointed! cos its orientation week.. i cant eat the chicken chop.. =(

After which, we went back to his place.. and slept! all the way till evening.

Went to Kallang with Hanwei and Qiaoyu to catch Shinjuku Incident..

I like the show alot! not bcos its bloody and gory.. but i feel the deeper meaning behind the story..

sick n sick.. since last friday till today.. ate my pills and fell aslept immediately.

.Friday

Good Friday to everyone who celebrates it...

This date is also me and monster's anniversary! We didnt really celebrate it... oh.. he got me a stalk of sunflower!! and i mean a stalk.. i have been wanting someone to give me tt.. bcos i simply love carrying a stalk of sunflower.. haha.. and well, this time i am surprised..

anyway, the day was spent with his whole family rather than the two of us.. we all went to offer praying to his grandpa..

Along the way, there are some misunderstandings.. i just feel so irritated.. but i kept quiet.. after which, went over to vivo for tea.. can you imagine about 20 plus ppl making noise at toast box.. lol.. i think we kind of created some chaos there..

initial plan was to catch a movie, however, no slots, no suitable movies (got to be PG rating).. So we all decided to go over his uncle's place...

caught the uncut version of wolverine.. i wanna watch tt show when it screens! =)

.Saturday

woke up rather late... had lunch with his sis and bf.. supposed to go down to town and catch a movie with them..

But maybe due to our poor time management, we couldnt.. and bcos of some incidents, he was in a really foul mood.. cursing and swearing while driving.. I dont know.. this is something that i really dont like.. so, yup.. i kept quiet... AAAAaallll the wayyy...

back home and had dinner.. i think both of us just feel suffocated cos we arent talking to each other.. and besides, he just have a stupid mouth that he will say sth really sarcastic when he's pissed. So there i was, tearing when eating my bowl of fish noodles.. To the extent that i lost all appetite to eat.. He too, stop eating..

So the both of us went over to a quiet spot to talk things out.. I said something bad..

I said i was tired.. since he is tired too.. why not take a break? Time off each other.. then maybe we will be clear headed to deal with each other then...

At that point of time, i really mean it.. I cried too.. But somehow i know i meant it.. bcos maybe we just need to give each other time to see if we are asking too much from either side..

I caused his tears to roll down.. and it ended up me comforting him.. We managed to sort out our differences and ended up at cold storage to buy chicken soup for the whole family to drink..

Maybe sometimes when you treasure a r/s, you want to make it work so badly.. that unknowingly, you create stress for each other..

I have learnt many things from him.. I was never a person that was able to openly speak my mind to my bf.. There are a few things that i would choose not to say for fear of creating another wave of unhappiness..

But ironically, i always wanted my partner to be one whom we are completely honest and open about our feelings.. Although, many ppl claimed that they can do that.. But, have you ever heard from your partner saying that he feels sad when he looks at his ex-gf photo and feel its so wasted that things dont work out betw them..

Dont be mistaken.. I am not trying to complain about him.. The fact is, i appreciate that he came clean with me.. and bcos of that, i am not angry and i understood his situation then.. So what i am trying to bring across is the extent of how honest we are to each other.. We tell each other almost everything.. of cos not to the extent that "i am bathing now, i am brushing my teeth.." But we keep each other updated on what goes on in our lives and most imptly what is on our mind.

I used to have this thing about my bf not telling me that other girls are flirting with them.. other girls try to do something funny to him.. well, what most guys think is that they wouldnt want additional trouble from their partner just by telling them.. But have they even realised that its bcos of wat they hide that will eventually cause the relationship to turn sour..

Girls, yes, we all do feel uneasy, jealous and unhappy, its human nature to think that way.. I myself will feel that way too, i dont deny that.. But take time to appreciate his courage to tell you.. it is not easy.. bcos most guys will tend to choose the easy way out.. Monster is different.. If he knows by telling me, i would be unhappy.. He would still tell me.

Ok.. alot of crap from me.. But well, i am happy we talked things out..

.Sunday

Since sat was spoiled by him.. so we made it up on sunday.. we went to town for a short walk.. and also to get his leather shoes.. afterwards was dinner at my place.. and we watched devil loves prada or sth.. not a bad show..

.Today

Back at work.. and i have tons to do.. bcos i have been off for 5 days!!! ggrrrr....
My email counter grew to a whooping 235 mails.. i nearly jumped out of my skin..
My Lappy's mother board gave way.. so whole morning was trying to transfer my stuffs to a temporary PC.. and it is damn slow! -_-

Still sick.. my colleagues are pestering me to go home.. haha.. BUT.. i cant.. bcos i have alot of work to clear!!!

Ciaos... Till then..